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Tantrums are a constant topic of interest in the lives of those of us who have children. As children grow, the way to show them and the reasons behind them evolve. And, therefore, our way of accompanying them must also be different. Next we focus on How to calm 7-year-old tantrums.
The normal thing is that as children get older, the tantrums begin to be normally less intense and frequent. We must bear in mind that 7-year-old children are already:
- Better able to control intense emotions.
- They have already developed language skills that allow them to better express anger, rage and frustration.
- They have learned to negotiate what they want.
However, situations of frustration, caprice, and mismanagement of anger can still occur. And all of them can lead to a tantrum that parents must learn to manage according to the age of our children.
These are some factors that can trigger these reactions more intensely at this stage:
Some children have a stronger temperament, may be more passionate or impulsive, and react more intensely than others of the same age.
- Difficulties expressing yourself
There are children who still cannot develop at this stage a good capacity to express themselves through language, which can cause them to feel misunderstood or frustrated and react with a tantrum.
- School or social problems
Some school learning and social difficulties can cause them to accumulate emotions that they do not know how to express, so that, faced with a situation perhaps not so relevant to us, they can unleash the emotions stored inside.
It may be that certain situations generate anxiety or fear in our children who do not dare or are unable to express themselves and make them react with a tantrum to avoid it.
- Mishandling of limits
It may be that we have inadvertently reinforced patterns of intense reactions in our child to achieve what he wants and in this case, even though he now has more resources, he will probably resort to the type of behavior that has worked for him in the past. Therefore, we must focus our attention, among other things, on establishing good limits and norms.
How then can we react to a tantrum at this age? These are 8 practical tips that parents should take into account.
1. Be a good model
It goes without saying that if your child sees that you react very badly to frustration, it will be mission impossible to ask him to have more mature reactions.
2. Try to find the real reason
In case we realize that these reactions are more frequent than normal in our child, it is important to look further and find out what may be disturbing him and causing these reactions in him, to attack the root of the problem.
3. Not giving in to the reason for the tantrum
Many times to avoid a conflict situation, we can fall into temptation and give in; in this way we are not helping our son to handle these types of situations and we are only reinforcing these types of behaviors.
4. Avoid arguing with him at that time
Despite the fact that we have the most reasonable arguments in the world to give our son, it is impossible for him to listen and convince himself at that moment. We must make it clear to him that we will discuss the matter until he is calm and give him the time he needs to do so; then return to the subject and speak it calmly.
5. Negotiate when possible
It is true that it is not good to give in to their wishes just for the sake of it, however, if our child manages to control himself when we ask him and the issue is negotiable, it is worth considering. Many parents think that negotiating means losing control, however, it can save us a bad time and far from that, we can take the opportunity to model that when things are discussed, there can be agreements with better results than a tantrum.
6. Anticipate situations
No matter how old our child is, we have a fairly clear idea of the type of situations that can generate a tantrum or a negative reaction in him, so that we try to anticipate, to explain what we will do and the type of behavior that we expect from him .
For example: If he reacts very badly when he has to leave video games to go to sleep, talk to him and tell him that you will give him two calls at 10 and 5 minutes to prepare and close the game.
7. Be consistent
If we remain firm and consistent about certain basic family topics and routines, our child is much less likely to seek to break them or create conflict.
8. Help him express himself
Once he is calm, we can ask him questions to help him understand what triggered his anger, to express himself, and to better manage his emotions: when did you start to get angry? Why did you think you reacted like this? Do you think it was worth it? Why did this situation get you out of control? How could you handle it the next time you feel the same way?
Always promoting good communication and staying calm and in control of the situation at all times, will always be essential to help your child overcome any situation.
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