Good and bad times with the children

Good and bad times with the children

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I am convinced that children bring out the best and the worst in us. There are days when we want to leave everything, work, housework, and even forget about ourselves, to be totally with them.

And there are other days when what we want is to disappear from their lives, let them do whatever they want and that's it. They make us feel both like the fullest person in the world, like the most 'monstrous'. Is that normal?

I think that having children is like establishing a marriage, an alliance, with the difference that with children you cannot and should not have separation or divorce. From a couple, although it is a pain for the family, one separates, but from a child, not even thinking about it. It is a marriage 'for life'. It is something like that of 'I receive you, ..., as a son and I give myself to you and I promise to be faithful to you in prosperity and adversity, in health and in illness, and thus love and respect you every day of my life'.

I wonder if our happiness should be linked to having children or not having them. A child brings very happy moments, but it only depends on us, how we face the difficulties that appear in our lives, and how we take advantage of these 'moments' of happiness. What I mean is that we cannot claim to hold anyone responsible for our happiness, not even our little ones. That if one day our son wakes up in a bad mood, or does not want to eat, or that he has not let us sleep during the night, or that he spends all the hours throwing tantrums, it does not mean that we should feel bad or unhappy parents.

If we expect a lot from children, we can become frustrated when expectations are not met. The harsh daily situations with children also have an impact on our satisfaction as mothers and fathers, but we must not let them be the helm of our family life, nor that our children be the bad 'drivers' of our lives. That is why it is so important to offer them 'school' and examples, stimulation, care, affection, always and in any circumstance. I think that the good and bad moments that we have with our children, although sometimes they make us happy or unhinged, make us feel better or worse, are seen as experiences of family life.

Let's try to make the bad moments as rare as possible, let's work on it, while the good ones are enjoyed 'to the fullest', fully, in the best possible way. The moments, in general, can last more or less, but they are temporary, don't forget.

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